YOU! The Sequel The 2 Most Important Shifts for a Successful Retirement
Every time I’m finished watching a great movie, I immediately begin creating the sequel in my mind. I wanted more! I was not ready for it to be over! A great sequel builds on the growth and development of the original story, often times diving deeper into a character’s personal values and gifts. Just as a sequel builds upon the original story, a mindset shift can build upon your current beliefs and perspectives, leading to new insights and personal transformation. Mindset shifts require only two actions; letting go of old beliefs that no longer serve you and embracing new perspectives that will encourage growth and reinvention. These are simple concepts, but they are not easy to implement. Your sequel may require discovering, perhaps for the first time, what makes your heart sing, and re-evaluating past thoughts and behaviors and be willing to move beyond them. So how do we begin this simple but not easy task of writing our sequel?
The process of “retiring” is daunting. It is change, and humans intrinsically do not like change. But change is where the gold hides. Retirement is an ugly word. Flashes of death, illness and financial uncertainty is usually what comes to mind. Webster defines retirement as: to withdraw from action or danger; to move back; to withdraw from one's position or occupation: to conclude one's working or professional career. When I read these words, my body wants to retreat and hide, and back in the day, that is exactly what most people would do when they retired. So how do we transform the “old” perception of “early bird dinners” and shuffleboard in our golden years to one that actually reflects today’s retirees? Today’s retirement isn’t our parents retirement, so we begin by creating a new paradigm that reflects the new retiree moving through an active joyful next chapter, not necessarily the last chapter.
Consider that when social security began in 1935 the life expectancy was 65. Today, a retired couple that live to age 65 will have a forty-five percent chance of one person in the couple living well into their mid-nineties! It is sobering to realize that retirees may be living in “retirement” almost as long as they worked in their career! Yet, we research our vacation spots and even our smart phones more thoroughly than planning how to live in our retirement years. To be happy, healthy, and financially secure, you only need to transform two things:
Retire the word SHOULD
Rewire your MINDSET
RETIRE THE WORD SHOULD
Should is a detour from your authentic self. It’s been said “the longest journey you’ll ever take is from your head to your heart.” From the beginning of our life we’ve been trained to ignore “choose” and embrace “should.” How and why did this happen? Humans love connection above all else. In order to be connected to our loved ones, we adopted all the should’s along the way and forgot how to choose or acknowledge our inner desires. Validation from external influence replaced our inner guidance. For most of us we’ve been living a life of should’s. We prioritized our external responsibilities at the expense of our inner desires. We probably should’d our high school studies and sports, college major, job and career, parenting style, almost every decision we made was probably born from a “should”. Well-meaning parents, friends, bosses, and mentors meant you no harm. They didn’t want you to make the same mistakes they made. The retirement chapter is truly our best opportunity to choose the life we want to live and leave the legacy that reflects who we are on a soul level.
Overall, balancing our instincts with differing viewpoints requires a combination of self-awareness, openness, and a willingness to consider multiple perspectives. By staying true to ourselves while also being open to others, we can make decisions that are both authentic and respectful of those around us.
ProTip: For one month, carry a little memo pad or use your smart phone and journal every time you mention the word “should” and be sure to count all the times you think or say it, even including what you believe others “should” do. I promise it will be eye-opening. If you really reflect on the word should, it’s easy to see that it is always a deviation from what you really want, to what others want you to do for their gratification. Sure, they mean well but they are not you!
REWIRE YOUR MINDSET
You May Be Leaving More Than Your Paycheck Behind
With longer life expectancy come new frontiers that need new solutions and mindset shifts. Many view retirement planning as a purely financial planning event. Few consider how they will feel when they leave their identity behind with their paychecks. Loss of identity is probably one of the most unanticipated areas of retirement. In my financial services practice, I see this play out every single day! It’s a shock to some and for others they know they will struggle with their identity. But little information or planning is available for the pre-retiree to prepare for this shift.
Many people end up living the retirement dream of their family, friends, or financial advisor but ignore their own personal values and gifts. If you aren’t that jazzed about living someone else’s retirement and want to create YOUR fulfilling, joyous, and financially free golden years, you’ll need to revisit your long-held beliefs.
Golden Years vs Rusty Years
Even fewer soon to be retirees plan around potential health issues and physical limitations that come with aging. And almost no one anticipates the change in relationships as we embark on life after livelihood.
If we are going to live in our golden years almost as long as we spent in our livelihood years, we better have a sense of meaning and fulfillment or those golden years will rust. Retiring the word should and replacing it with choose is a great start. The mindset that got you to retirement won’t bring you through retirement.
Identify one area in your life that you would love to change. In your journal, make two columns:
One that lists how your life will look if nothing changes.
The other that lists the possibilities if you make changes.
Then invite a mentor for coffee, take a class at the local university or online community, or hire a coach to help you with the change you want to make.
Director’s Notes for Your Academy Award Winning Sequel:
Be clear on your values: In order to make decisions that align with your values, it's important to have a clear understanding of what those values are. Spend some time reflecting on what matters most to you and what you stand for. Understanding your core values will make it easier to stay true to yourself when making decisions.
Recognize the need for change: The first step in any mindset shift is recognizing that your current beliefs or perspectives may no longer serve you well. Feeling stuck or dissatisfied in certain areas of your life is a key indicator that you are living someone else’s idea of a good life, but not yours.
Be curious and open-minded: While it's important to be true to yourself, it's also important to be open to hearing different perspectives. This can help you see things from different angles and gain a deeper understanding of complex issues. It can also help you challenge your own assumptions and biases. This doesn't mean that you have to agree with everyone, but it does mean that you should be willing to listen and consider other viewpoints. Being exposed to other perspectives will do one of two things, either solidify your position or modify your position. Either way, it’s a win/win!
Practice self-reflection and self-acceptance: This means taking the time to think about your decisions and how they align with your values. It is also important to practice self-acceptance and be willing to admit and forgive yourself when you've made a mistake or when you've acted in a way that doesn't align with your values. Mindfulness can be a powerful tool for shifting your mindset. By practicing mindfulness, you can become more aware of your thoughts and emotions and learn to respond to them in a more intentional and productive way. By being honest with yourself, you can continue to grow and develop as a person Meditation and prayer always help me to take a step back and observe so I can respond rather than react.
Act: To fully shift your mindset, you'll need to take action. This may involve setting new goals, trying new things, making changes to your lifestyle or habits, using different financial products in your portfolio, and making wellness a priority.
The key to writing a successful YOU sequel is to balance the familiar with the new, building on what life experiences came before, while also introducing fresh elements to your new life chapter that will keep it fun and interesting. Whether you're nearing retirement or newly retired, following the “directors notes” can help you craft your compelling and unforgettable sequel. Here’s to an academy award winning retirement!
