It’s About More Than The Money…Gimme Five!
You are counting the days and the dollars to your big Freedom Day…the day you “retire”. The truth is most of us never really retire, we just move on to the second act. If you are a Boomer like me, you may be in “retirement” almost as long as you were in your career. This is both a blessing and a curse. The blessing: finally, we get to do what we want and not what others expect of us or what we think we “should” do. The curse: we worry about outliving our money or giving it all back to Uncle Sam. Few of us consider that there are five elements of retirement, and money is only one of them. Not addressing ALL FIVE of these elements may leave us unhappy, unfulfilled, insecure and financially or physically not able to afford the bucket list we’ve been composing over the years.
We have a preparedness plan for almost everything we do “except” retirement! We think because we’ve completed an estate plan, we are good to go. Money and “stuff” are only one element of our retirement planning albeit an important one.
We spend so much of our adult lives having our “purpose” determined by other people. We are either working for a company, working for our customers, clients, patients, raising children or taking care of aging parents and family members. When these roles wane, we don’t really know who we are or what is our value. When our “relevancy” is determined by our career we are going to be disappointed when the career ends, even if we are counting down the days. Let’s explore these five elements with an open and inquisitive mind.
The first element is examining your spirituality and I’m not just talking about your “external spirituality” or religious beliefs. I think most boomers are pretty comfortable with our individual beliefs in a higher power. I am suggesting we look at our “internal spiritual beliefs” or our values that drive our behavior. Internal spirituality or drivers are the values we place on God, relationships, family, peace of mind, service, bravery, professionalism, freedom, consistency…the list is vast, and it is very personal to you. There are many values exercises on the web that you can use to determine your top values¹. If you are in a relationship I suggest doing this exercise together. Understanding each other’s internal spirituality or value system will help you to understand why we make or avoid making certain decisions and help you to determine who does what in the relationship based on one’s strengths and convictions.
The second element of a happy and fulfilling retirement is determining your new “purpose”. The enlightenment you get by doing a values exercise will help you exponentially. Here are a few questions that I recommend contemplating and journaling:
What makes me happy or brings me joy?
What do my friends and family always seek my advice on, what do people say I do really well?
What is it that when I’m doing it, time flies by so fast it feels like a few minutes?
These questions can start to clue you in on how you can plan retirement activities, hobbies and trips that fill your heart and give you purpose. So many successful life changing people started their new ventures after the age of 50! People like Henry Ford, Charles Darwin, Julia Child, Colonel Sanders, Martha Stewart, Louise Hay and so many more²! Why not you? They didn’t start out thinking they would change the world; they just did what they loved, and the world changed. You may be a positive influence on
only one person who ends up changing the world!
The third element and perhaps THE most important is your health and wellbeing. If you don’t have your health, your wealth cannot do anything for your joy. As we age our eyesight, hearing and mobility may decline. This doesn’t mean we stop tending to our health and exercise just because we can’t do it the same way! We can find alternatives and adjust. For example, if you have knee issues you can replace tennis with pickleball or take a yoga or Pilates class rather than running a half marathon.
Our diet becomes even more important as we age than it was when we were young and burning the candle at both ends. As we get older our pancreas gets tired and unable to process sugar or carbohydrates the way it used to. This can lead to hormonal changes, diabetes, pre-diabetes or insulin resistance which can cause us to feel lethargic and even confused. Whatever “way of eating” you choose you may want to consider lower carbohydrate foods and make the carbs you eat count by choosing healthy vegetables, legumes and fruits that are nutrient rich. Eliminate processed foods as much as possible by sticking to the outer isles of the grocery store. You may also consider adding supplements or multi-vitamin to your daily routine. I’m not a doctor and always recommend consulting your physician before taking any supplements or implementing any dietary changes. Your doctor will know your health conditions and be able to recommend the best supplements and way of eating for your optimal health.
The fourth element to upsizing your joy in retirement is social connections. Your friends and social activities may change. Work friends may not keep in touch as often, or not at all, because you no longer have as much in common with them. Once you leave your company or industry your topics of interest change. Notice as you are interacting with your work friends how much of your conversation is actually on topics outside the work environment? Start to develop a friends’ network outside your work such as book clubs, card clubs like bridge or euchre, pickleball leagues etc...
Another discovery the newly retired experience is not being so enamored with your spouse or partner once you are together 24/7. Being together all day when you haven’t been for years is an opportunity to examine how you want to spend your time together. Not preparing for the sudden 24/7 “togetherness” along with today’s increased life expectancy has contributed to the increase in “uncoupling”. Divorce rates of those over 50 (newly called Gray Divorce) has roughly doubled over the last 25 years³. Incorporate your spouse/partner into your life before retirement and find activities you enjoy together. Likewise, encourage each other to cultivate friends and activities with others that you don’t have to do as a couple. This becomes vitally important if/when one passes away before the other. Lastly, talk about each other’s need for “alone” time, so it is not a surprise when retirement comes.
Our fifth and last element, which has likely led you to become part of the HomeStretch Financial Family, is money. Just as “our” life purpose changes, so does our “money” purpose change. We go from accumulation and growth to preservation and income generation and your mindset can be tricky to navigate around this change. When we are in the earning phase of life it masks our money gremlins but as soon as we “retire” to the spending phase of life that money gremlin rears its ugly head. All sorts of emotions come out of nowhere. Scarcity mentality shows up even for people who have millions. This happens when we feel out of control and cannot anticipate future obstacles. This has never been more evident than it is now with our current political and covid19 crisis. Many people become fearful of spending and develop anxiety around any activities that require money because they know they will not be “earning” the way they have been in their career. We don’t still go to a Pediatrician for our medical care but that doesn’t mean our Pediatrician was a bad doctor. Likewise, our money may need different expertise as well, expertise on retirement income, taxes and inflation. Getting a second opinion may help clarify and validate our financial decisions.
There is a lot to consider and should this feel overwhelming and confusing, schedule a discovery call with me on this link:
Citation:
